Turning 18 and reaching adulthood comes with a lot of freedom. However, it also comes with a lot of responsibility. When you become an adult, you are no longer under the control of your parents. You can make your own choices, and no longer need their legal approval for many things, but that comes with a host of new decisions that you are responsible for.
One of these decisions is whether or not to name a healthcare proxy and/or power of attorney. These documents state that if you find yourself unable to make decisions for yourself, the people that you name will be assigned to make those decisions for you, hopefully in your best interests. It’s scary to think about the possibility of a situation like this, but it’s better to establish these documents in advance, just in case. Healthcare proxies are given the responsibility of deciding, on your behalf, what kind of care you receive if you become incapacitated. If you get in a car accident and end up in a coma, you want to ensure the person making decisions is choosing what’s best for you, not them. Maybe you want to be on life support. Maybe you don’t. Regardless, they need to respect that. If you feel as though your family won’t respect your wishes, you don’t need to name them as your proxy, just another adult who you trust to respect your wishes.
This importance cannot be understated if you are capable of pregnancy. If pregnancy is involved and you are incapacitated, it’s incredibly important for your healthcare proxy to be a person who will advocate for you and make the same choice that you would. That may mean terminating a pregnancy, or it may mean continuing it, but it’s important regardless to choose a person that will advocate for your desires. The same idea applies if you are receiving gender-affirming care. If a family member is going to force their own views and preferences onto your body, you’re under no obligation to name them as your healthcare proxy. This is part of the freedom that comes with legal adulthood.
In addition, if you’re going through the process of choosing a healthcare proxy, it’s not a bad idea to establish a durable power of attorney. Naming a person will give them the ability to make financial decisions for you, in the event that you are incapacitated. Once you are an adult, the things you buy are your own, and they inherently have value. They are part of your “estate.” Maybe you collect figurines or trading cards. Maybe you play music and own instruments. Maybe you own valuable jewelry! It never hurts to have a person named who will make sure that your estate (even if it is just some jewelry and the cash in your bank account) is managed well. Durable powers of attorney are powerful, and they’re well worth the peace of mind.
Without a durable power of attorney or health care proxy in place, someone may have to be appointed by a court to manage your care and finances. Thus, naming someone of your own choosing not only gives you more control, it also saves on legal fees and, more importantly, stress on your loved ones.
Planning for a worst-case scenario is scary. Experiencing that worst-case scenario without planning for it is even scarier. Becoming a legal adult comes with many new responsibilities, but, fortunately, it also comes with a great deal of control. Contact us if you would like help setting up these documents.
*Thanks to Jay Clark for drafting the bulk of this post!